


Musings on Empty Calories... and Various Other Subjects

by BuckinghamAlice



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, Superman/Batman (Comics)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, These two are big dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-27 00:43:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/972290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckinghamAlice/pseuds/BuckinghamAlice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark and Bruce talk about their relationship and how they are most certainly NOT dating.  They're actually not a lot of things, and it's time for important distinctions to be made (and largely ignored).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Musings on Empty Calories... and Various Other Subjects

It was a Thursday night, or actually a Friday morning, and Bruce had just come in from patrol about an hour before. He was logging some reports at the computer and Clark was keeping him company. Clark had tried to make small talk, but Bruce had given him a withering look that made him roll his eyes and just sort of float back and forth aimlessly. That look Bruce had shot him might have scared someone who wasn’t so used to him, but Clark could shrug it off.

“Can you please stop pacing around like that?” Bruce asked from his seat. “I feel like you’re haunting me.” Clark laughed and perched himself on the edge of the console to the bat computer, red booted feet crossed in front of him. “Really, though? We’re sitting in a ghastly cavern full of screeching bats and I’m haunting you?” Bruce merely sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Don’t sit there,” Bruce said, pulling his cowl off. Clark stood up and smiled at him, using his thumb to rub some of the black eye makeup off. Bruce scowled to show his dissatisfaction, but he didn’t move away from Clark’s touch. “When do you suppose you’ll be done?” Clark asked.

“A lot sooner without as many distractions,” Bruce said with a raised eyebrow. Clark crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “You act as though I came over unannounced. You did invite me here, didn’t you? I could always leave, if that’s what you want.” Bruce glanced at him and ran his hand through his own, slightly sweat dampened hair. Clark wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but he took it to mean that he didn’t want him to go. “Well?” Clark pressed.

Bruce sighed. “Please stay… but do so quietly.” Clark smiled to himself and hovered sitting cross legged next to Bruce and watched him work. They stayed like that, silent for some time as Bruce typed and cross-referenced and dared Clark to open his mouth, until Clark began to fidget and tug at his collar. Unlike Bruce, who felt more at home in the batsuit than in civilian clothes, Clark began to get uncomfortable when he wore his uniform while he wasn’t doing Superman work.

Bruce looked at him with a smirk. “You can go change. We can put a moratorium on the uniforms in the cave rule for tonight.” Clark smiled. “Thank you.” He ducked into the changing area and put on the jeans and plaid shirt he had stashed in the secret pocket in his cape.

He straightened his collar and put his glasses on as he decided to take this opportunity to get Bruce into a conversation that he felt they should have had some time ago. “So, speaking of, you know all those rules you have? Like the ‘no dating team members’ thing?” Clark began, walking up beside Bruce.

Bruce glanced up. “For the most part, they’re not rules. They’re guidelines. But yes.”

“Well, if dating is against your _guidelines_ , what do you call this thing we’re doing then?” Clark asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. Bruce eyed him carefully and thought for a moment before speaking. “You and I… we are… seeing each other.”

“Right,” Clark said. “And that differs from dating how?”

“Dating typically includes the people involved seeing each other socially and sleeping together,” Bruce began. “You and I are sleeping together, but we don’t see each other socially. We ‘hang out’ on occasion, but those occasions aren’t dates… hence the term ‘seeing each other.’”

“Well, I understand now,” Clark said drily. “Although in Kansas we call that ‘going together.’ But I suppose that sounds a bit high school, doesn’t it?”

“A bit,” Bruce replied, turning back to the computer. “Although, if that’s your preferred term, you’re welcome to use it.” Clark rolled his eyes but smiled. “I’m glad to hear you care so much one way or the other.”

Bruce looked up, a smile playing on his lips. He started to say something, but at just that moment, Dick came roaring into the cave on his bike. “Nightwing!” he exclaimed, actually rather surprised for maybe the first time since Clark had known him. Dick bounded over to the two men and said, “Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” Bruce said, sounding almost guilty, coloring just slightly. “We were just…” His voice trailed off to nothing. Clark eyed him curiously. “Talking,” he supplied honestly. “We were talking.”

“Right,” he replied, eyeing them both but not wanting to get involved in whatever he had interrupted. “Anyways, Bruce, I ran into an old friend of yours tonight.” He went on to tell Bruce about a repeat sexual offender that had attacked over two dozen young women in parks all over Gotham about five years before and had recently been released from prison on “good behavior” and relocated to Blüdhaven. There had already been one attack, and Nightwing had apprehended the guy, but there wasn’t enough evidence for him to be held in prison. He’d be back on the streets before morning.

“Good behavior,” Bruce reiterated indignantly. “As if scum like that was capable of good behavior.” Bruce turned back to the computer and pulled up all his files on the man and his known associates. Dick walked up behind Bruce and read the screen over his shoulder.

Clark watched for a while, being silent so as not to disturb them as they worked. He’d have offered to help, but he knew Bruce would say no, and even if Dick might want to say yes, he wouldn’t while Bruce was there. Alfred brought them coffee and a tray of snickerdoodles, and Clark found himself yawning once he had finished his.

Clark stretched and said, “You know, I think I’ll leave you to your work. I don’t want to get in the way, so I may as well go on to bed.” Dick turned to him and smiled and waved, a cookie in his hand and crumbs on his mouth. “Mhm, fine,” Bruce simply said. That was bat-talk for goodnight, Clark could only assume. Clark went upstairs and striped down to his underwear. He climbed into Bruce’s bed and thought to himself with a smile how he had been spending quite a few more nights there than usual lately.

  
By the time Dick left, Bruce was stifling yawns. He’d have kept working, but he figured it was time to be fair. He had probably kept Clark waiting just long enough. So he went and took a quick shower and dressed in a pair of sweatpants and went back upstairs. When he walked in his bedroom, he wasn’t surprised to see Clark on his bed covered in a sheet and looking unnecessarily irresistible, but he’d like him to think he was. Clark’s eyes fluttered open and he stretched his long arms over his head.

“I thought you were going home and to bed,” Bruce said casually. Clark smiled. “I said I was going to bed… I never said I was going home.”  
  
“Well, for the record, I’m… glad you’re… here,” Bruce said, sitting on the edge of the bed and yawning. Clark threw the sheet off and scooted closer to him so he could run a hand gently up his back. “Can I ask you a question?” Clark asked.

“I don’t imagine I could stop you,” Bruce said absently.

Clark took a deep breath before beginning. “You obviously haven’t told your family about… us. Do you mind if I ask why?”

Bruce shook his head and shrugged. “There isn’t anything to tell.” Clark’s heart fell. “Oh,” he managed to say.

“Shit,” Bruce began, and turned to face him. “That… came out wrong. I didn’t mean… I simply meant that I never tell them about the people I… ‘go with.’ I’m not going out of my way to keep secrets here. Well, no more than usual.”

“I see,” Clark said simply. “Really,” Bruce insisted.

“I believe you,” Clark relented. “I just… I was a little worried that you might be, I dunno… embarrassed maybe. About the whole gay thing.” Bruce raised an eyebrow. “I’m not gay.”

“You were pretty gay last night when we were having sex, what with you being bent over and begging ‘deeper, harder’ and all that,” Clark commented, slightly amused. Bruce rolled his eyes. “I don’t do labels. I thought we agreed not to label any of this.”

“Oh, calm down. I don’t care about labels either,” Clark said. “I’m just screwing with you. I _like_ to screw with you.” Bruce looked at him with one eyebrow raised. “Right. We covered that last night.”

Clark laughed. “I didn’t mean it like that… true though that may be.” He ran his hand up Bruce’s arm and Bruce licked his lips. “So,” Bruce began, “If we _were_ bothering to go for labels here, which one would be the most accurate in your case?”

Clark thought for a moment. “Well, Kryptonians are bisexual by nature. I had been attracted to men before, but never enough so to actually want to _be_ with one. Until fairly recently, that is.” He glanced at Bruce and tried to read the passive expression on his face. He couldn’t. So he continued. “And how about you?”

“Well,” he began. “I’ve been attracted to and been with mostly women, but there has been the occasional man. Though lately it’s mostly been just aliens, I suppose. One in particular.” Clark smiled. “ _Just_ aliens? Meaning you aren’t seeing anyone else?”

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Are _you_?” Then, forcing his voice back to the calm place it needed to stay in, he added, “I mean, that’s your business if you are…” Nope. The thought of Clark with someone else didn’t fill _him_ with jealousy.

“I’m not,” Clark said flatly. “When I’m… _seeing_ someone, I don’t see other people. But you could tell me if you were… or if you wanted to. I could handle it.”

“There’s no one else, Clark,” Bruce said in his most matter-of-fact tone. Clark nodded. “Now, is that because you don’t happen to be interested in anyone else right now or is it because we’re doing whatever it is we’re doing?”

Bruce sighed and rolled his eyes. “Does it matter?” And Clark gave him one of those very earnest looks that Bruce hated. “It matters to me,” he said quietly. Bruce sighed yet again and put his hand gently on Clark’s, not holding it, but gently caressing it. “Both,” he answered truthfully, quietly. “I don’t _want_ to see anyone else _because_ I’m seeing you. I’m happy seeing you, and just you.”

Clark smiled. “Good. I feel the same way.” Bruce broke the eye contact. He could never maintain it for long when they were having these kinds of conversations. Clark crawled right up behind Bruce and put his hands on the smaller man’s shoulders. “Well, are we gonna… y’know… or should I go?”

“Do we have to ‘y’know,’ as you so delicately put it, for you to stay?” Bruce asked. “Because you’re welcome to stay either way… any time you like.”

“You mean to tell me that you and I could just lay here… sleep in this bed together like people who are… _seeing_ each other… without anything happening and you’d be okay with that?” Clark asked, rather incredulously. Bruce looked up at him with an eyebrow raised. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to… but the option is there,” he said. “Unless you don’t sleep over with people after you’ve had your way with them… or should I say _unless_ you’ve had your way with them?”

“I do,” Clark said, slipping his arms around Bruce and kissing his neck. “But I didn’t know you did.” He gently turned Bruce’s face toward him and gave him a soft kiss. “I’ll stay, sex or no,” Clark breathed. “Though I’d really like sex.”

“As would I,” Bruce sighed, leaning his forehead against Clark’s. “But I’m afraid I’d be a little underwhelming…I’m a little sore from patrol… and tired…” Clark smiled. “That’s fine. I understand.” He relaxed his hold on Bruce but gave him another little kiss on the jaw. Bruce put his hand gently on Clark’s arm and held him there, just a second longer, and sighed softly. He kissed his forearm then looked up into the beautiful cornflower blue eyes that watched him and he pressed a kiss to his lips. With his eyes closed tight, he said, “Goodnight, Clark.”

“Goodnight,” Clark echoed as they got under the blankets and snuggled into bed. Bruce rolled on to his side with his ass stuck out slightly, and Clark got into big spoon position behind him. “You know I’m not a cuddly sleeper,” Bruce grumbled lightly.

“But you’re making an exception for me tonight,” Clark added. “How thoughtful! I mean, why else would you have gotten into that position?”

Bruce sighed. “It’s never going to be simple, is it?” Clark laughed. “I don’t suppose so. But honestly… would you want it to be?”

“God help me, I wouldn’t,” Bruce said. “And what does that say about me?” Clark snuggled closer and buried his nose in Bruce’s shoulder. “It’s too late to get existential… let’s save psychoanalysis until after I’ve had my coffee in the morning,” came Clark’s muffled reply.

Bruce smiled in the darkness and closed his eyes. Just then, Clark crept just a bit closer and rested his hand on Bruce’s hip. “Clark, what are you doing?” Bruce asked, voice low.

Clark chuckled softly. “Just thinking,” he replied. “Thinking requires your hands to be on me?” Bruce asked, trying to hold back a laugh.

“Yes, it certainly does,” he replied, holding Bruce tighter. Normally Bruce would have tried to squirm away, but Clark was warm and he felt good up against him. He snuggled back into him slightly. “Do I dare ask what you’re thinking?” Bruce asked quietly.

“Just that I’d rather have it be complicated with you than uncomplicated with anyone else,” Clark said softly, nuzzling his face up against Bruce’s shoulder. Bruce sighed. “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” Clark asked.

“Say things like that when I’m finally determined not to have sex with you,” Bruce answered, breaking free of Clark’s arms just enough to turn over and face him.

“I’m sorry if I’m being too… romantic,” Clark said. “I just… I tend to say these things when I think of them.” Bruce smiled. “I’ve noticed,” he said, placing his hand over Clark’s. “I don’t mind that sort of thing from time to time… at least you know the time and place for it.”

“Yeah,” Clark said. “The time is usually any time but now and the place is anywhere else, but especially not the cave.” Bruce sighed. “Oh, come on. I’m not that bad.”

Clark laughed. “Yeah, you are usually.”

“Then why do you put up with me?” Bruce challenged. Clark smiled softly. “Because I love you.”

“Clark --,” Bruce began, but Clark cut him off. “I know, I know… I shouldn’t say that… and you can’t say it back. But it’s how I feel, so I had to say it.”

Bruce sighed. He linked his fingers through Clark’s and said, “I never said I didn’t feel… like that. Because I do, you know.” Clark nodded. “I know. You’re not as mysterious as you like to think.”

“If you know me so well, what am I thinking now?” Bruce asked with a raised eyebrow. Clark laughed. “That I’m the single most annoying man that you know and I’m lucky I’m so cute.” Bruce laughed and rolled onto his back. “Well, sure. But that was just a lucky guess.”

“Guess my foot,” Clark commented, scooting closer to Bruce and resting his head on the smaller man’s chest. He liked spooning, but this was his favorite sleeping position and Bruce knew that. “I know what you’re thinking from experience. This isn’t the first time you’ve had those thoughts about me.”

“And it won’t be the last,” Bruce said. “But you weren’t completely correct about what I was thinking. I didn’t think that you were lucky that you’re so cute.”

“You don’t think I’m cute?” Clark asked, looking up at Bruce with one eyebrow raised. “No, you are,” Bruce responded. “Almost unbearably so. But I was actually thinking that you’re lucky that you’re such a good lay.”

Clark laughed. “ _You’re_ lucky I’m a good lay.” Bruce laughed to himself and covered his eyes with his hand. “You are such a dork that I can’t stand the sight of you.”

“Weren’t we supposed to be going to sleep?” Clark asked, trying to sound serious. “Yes, yes we were,” Bruce said. “But you won’t shut up.”

Clark grinned. “You know how to shut me up.” Bruce smiled in spite of himself and sighed. Clark was really incredible… he had never been with anyone else that could so easily switch between serious relationship conversations and just plain silliness. And it wasn’t simplemindedness… he was just easy going enough to keep up with Bruce’s mood swings. He had to acknowledge that he put Clark though a lot… and like the patient person he was, he always rolled with it.

Bruce leaned in to Clark and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Would you like anything special for breakfast?” Bruce asked. “Alfred makes wonderful chocolate chip pancakes… not that I eat that sort of thing, but I know your appetite… you’d love them.”

Clark smiled. “Anything will do. I don’t care… so long as we get to eat together.”

Bruce sighed. “See, there you go again. If you don’t stop being so sweet you’re going to give me a sugar rush.”

“Maybe that was my evil plan all along,” Clark said with a mischievous grin. “Maybe I wanted to get you all amped up and in just the right mood so I could ask you for something truly deviant and kinky and trick you into saying yes.”

“You’re sleep deprived,” Bruce said drily. “You’re only ever this silly at this time of night.” Clark gave him another kiss and bit his lower lip, not hard enough to hurt, but just hard enough for it to tingle a little. “So… will we be having breakfast together or not?” he finally asked.

With a sigh, Bruce answered, “I suppose. You can even consider it a date, if that’ll make you happy.” Clark looked at him, eyes slightly widened and one eyebrow raised. “But I thought we weren’t dating?”

Now Bruce was sure that Clark had somehow tricked him into saying the D-word. Well, it was too late to take it back now. But he had to say something. “Clark, I offered you pancakes, not a lifelong commitment.”

“But I know what you meant,” Clark said triumphantly. “You save that hard-to-get crap for someone who doesn’t see through it.”

Bruce sighed and rolled back onto his side, muttering something under his breath about _some people_ being too mushy and sentimental for their own good. When Clark didn’t immediately snuggle up behind him, he looked over his shoulder to see Clark glancing at him with a triumphant smile. Bruce sighed again and let his head sink into the pillow. Tonight he would sleep next to the man he most certainly was not dating and in the morning he would eat fatty, sugary empty calories. What had happened to his life? When did it get so… good?

Clark put his hand back on Bruce’s hip and Bruce closed his eyes again and sighed to himself. Somehow, though nothing had changed, everything had changed. And it was a good thing. Because as long as he had that, Clark’s hand on his hip and a reason to get up and have breakfast while it was AM, nothing else really mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> I just have a full on thing for these two being fluffy, adorable dorks who are a little bit awkward at times but fairly open with one another and tease each other a lot. =P


End file.
